Not So Objective

English teaches us about subjectivity and objectivity. How much of English is subjective? 110%. English is supposed to be an expression of our thoughts and ideas, is it not? I understand that particular responses like essays have a certain structure that needs to be followed but is the depth of analysis of one teacher the same as another? If I handed Ms Tishler and my English tutor the same essay, would I get the same critique? Would they scrutinise the same details? Would the same elements of my essay be picked at like a dead carcass? No bloody way. Different people look more specifically for certain structural or critical components and bypass others.

Teachers tell us that poetry and creative writing are way to express ourselves, with relevance to the topic being studied of course. Yet, when people hand in their poems, they receive Bs, Cs and lower. A poem is an expression of oneself, are the means of expressive techniques are not good enough? What if the teacher interpreted it wrongly? I understand that some people struggle in communicating their message in an effective manner but I don't know. I guess there is a higher standard for the A range, but who is to say what is an A?! My story is "poorly written"? What if I was doing that on purpose because of my character like friggen Suzanne Collins (or maybe she's just a bad writer)? It's so open and ambiguous. You never know if something you've produced is ever good enough. And who's to say if it is good enough? Do I sound philosophical? Or just stupid? Yeah. Stupid.

At the end of the day, it comes down to what kind of person is marking your HSC paper. If it's an English enthusiast that lives for the language, then congratulations, your work will be judged really harshly. If it's a middle-aged woman who is marking the HSC for the first time, the chances are that she will mark very easily and people that deserve band 5s will get into the band 6 range. If your marker is an old woman and your paper is in the last few hundred of the thousands then congratulations. She probably won't even be reading it properly. At least in maths, there is a wrong and right. There is an order of logic and a solid standard across the board. OR MAYBE THE STRESS OF THE ENGLISH ASSESSMENT IS JUST DOING MY HEAD IN AND I'M GOING CRAZY. Who am I kidding, I was always crazy.